Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
