Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
