if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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