I accidentally had phone sex last night
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize