I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
