ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
