sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
