i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
