I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
