So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
