we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
