I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
