I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize