oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
