That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
