I don't think brook has ever known best
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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