2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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