i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
