wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize