So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
