you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I could have mohawked her pubes.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
No more Irish car bombs ever.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
