making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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