She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
