you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize