hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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