you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
