Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
