no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
