I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
where are you?
Hypothermia
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
