My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize