There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
