I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Randomize
