Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
