yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
