"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
