The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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