You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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