i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
