I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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