So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
