was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
