Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
