You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize