this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
