i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize