I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
