and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
