if you like me you must not know who I am
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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