Small penises have feelings too.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize