Having a random hookup so left but love u
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
