girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
