D3 body, D1 cock
Is it because I queefed?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
