I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
