hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
