we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize