I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
