you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Terrible idea I love it
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
