i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have fence marks all over my body
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize