Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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